Confidence is Oh so fragile

Its quite terrifying to find that we are so vulnerable,and our confidence can be knocked so easily.(I say we, I may be on my own in this!)
I had until very recently been quite proud of the fact that I have raised well over £1000 for Leukaemia and Lymphona Research, mainly through pattern sales on Etsy, and more recently through Folksy and Ravelry. It had given me a reason to continue the design process, the structuring of a project that I love so much. But a few days ago someone contacted me to say that although they like one of my patterns, they thought it was wrong of me to charge for it, as it was a basic pattern and there was a free version available.
Since then my confidence, not just in my designing, but in everything has been dashed. Nothing that I make or do seems worthy anymore.
I have always tried not to look at what else is out there, but just to design whatever pops into my head. There is so much available on the internet that if you spend time looking at other people's work you would never come up with an idea that you felt was original.
But the big question is - should we charge for patterns? For some people it is their livelihood,(as it was mine, at one time) and any author of a pattern book will include projects for beginners - people still buy them.
I had been looking at it from the other perspective - I saw it as a way of raising money for my charity, a way in which people received something in return for their donation. I do need to point out here that not all the money from sales goes to the charity. I have to take out the selling fees, the cost of materials and any other expenses incurred.
But now I am questioning everything I do - and I mean everything
My confidence and my happiness has taken a serious knock. I am not sure I can put any more patterns up for sale. The joy has all gone. My raison d.etre was always fragile - now it's in pieces.

If you have any comments, either from the designers perspective or the buyers point of view, I would be like to hear them. I might not like what you say, but I can't feel any worse than I do at the moment

Feeling Festive

As the days have got shorter my knitting needles seem to have been working faster. I spent several weeks working on some Christmas designs, and as soon as those were finished I launched straight into designing a family of penguins. I'm sure those penguins were in my head because I was still in Christmas mode! When I'm designing baby hats, I'm totally methodical and mathematical, but toys and ornaments just seem to "grow" on my needles, but being the perfectionist that I am, I usually want to change something... the shape of a head, the length of a leg.... after all, if its worth doing, its worth doing well, so now as I sit back and take stock before I launch into my next project, I'm looking down at a "graveyard" of legs and bodies that didn't quite make it to the finished item!! Poor things! What's worse for them is that I know I won't even give them a decent burial. I can use all that stuffing over again, so one day pretty soon "operation de-stuff" will take place and all those odd arms and legs will be cut open and the stuffing saved for another animal or doll. Waste not, want not as they say.

As for my next project....Mmmmn, I'm going to keep you guessing on that one!

Erin - A New Pattern

 I was really pleased to add a new pattern to my Etsy and Ravelry stores last nice. It's called Erin. It's funny that the name for it came to me half way through designing it, and I just knew that was what I was going to call it - no ifs or buts - that was it.
I really like this design as it ticks all the boxes. Its quick and easy to knit, so suitable for a relative beginner knitter, but with enough pattern and shaping to keep the knitter interested and happy.
It is also extremely versatile.
The thick strings came about because someone asked me to design one as a photoprop - photos of sleeping babies wearing only a slightly oversized hat with the bulky strings hanging down across their body, are very popular at the moment.
Its very easy to knit the string narrower though, and if the hat is slightly too big, the string will draw it in a little if its tied to one side of the chin.
If you want a really vintage girly look, then omit the string altogether, the eyelet pattern will then show up beautifully and you can sew on pretty ribbons.

If you are not into the feminine look, or want the hat to be gender neutral, omit the two rows of eyelet pattern and add plaited strings at either end.

You could also knit the flower in a variety of colours and sew them to hair clips. Knit the bonnet in a neutral colour and you can then clip on whichever flower suits baby's outfit that day. What a wonderfully versatile hat!!

We're Having a Heat Wave

......... a wonderful heat wave. The shadows are long and the daylight relatively short, but this sunshine is just fantastic.
I know the British always talk about the weather, but then part of its charm is that it constantly surprises us!
We have had a topsy turvy summer - heat wave in spring, pathetic summer and now another heatwave.
Suddenly the garden clear up ready for winter has stopped, the cover is back off the garden furniture and I'm enjoying every minute of it.
The great thing about designing knitting is that you can do it outside!
As the rsi in my hands is getting worse, I have to concentrate on designing patterns rather than finished items, and I'm loving it!
My head is bursting with so many ideas, I have so many hastily written scribbles in my notebook, that the challenge will be deciphering it when I come back to knit it up and test out the pattern, but for the time being
I'm going to sit on that garden chair, needles and notebook in hand and enjoy the sunshine.
I hope you get to enjoy it too!

7 dresses

Finally, these seven dresses have been parcelled up and posted off to KidsCompany.

Each summer I make dresses for deprived girls at Kids Company who might otherwise have to spend their summer school break in their usual T shirts and jeans. But this year, as well as some random size dresses that were sent off earlier, I agreed to make dresses for specific children. They gave me the sizes and the favourite colours of seven very needy girls, and these are the dresses I made for them. Unfortunately, I finished them just a couple of days too late to get them to them before broke up from school for the summer, so I've had to wait until now to send them off.

It looks as though summer is well and truly finished here (if it ever really got going!), but I'm sure they will enjoy wearing them with a T shirt and leggings, and they will appreciate receiving something that was made especially for them.

This one is my favourite - I think its the petite size and the bright colours that I particularly like. I was very pleased with the white edging stitch that I put on each ruffle with the overlocker.
I couldn't help thinking though, as I put a gift label on each dress, and parcelled them up, that 7 dresses is just a drop in the ocean ......so.... I'd better that sewing machine out, and make some more!